“Comparison is the Thief of Joy” - or is it?
What We Are Exploring This Month: Comparison
President Theodore Roosevelt famously said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And while there’s truth in that, it doesn’t have to be the whole story.
Life often invites us to hold two opposing ideas at once. Comparison can hurt us, but it can also help us. Taking a moment to sit with both realities may bring us closer to the truth.
We know excessive comparison—especially through social media—can chip away at our self-worth. Study after study shows how scrolling through curated highlight reels can spark jealousy, sadness, and self-doubt. It’s not just kids who struggle with this; it’s all of us.
Most people post their best moments and skip the shadowy ones. That’s understandable—who wants to dwell on hard days online? But when we compare our whole selves to someone else’s best snapshots, we’re almost guaranteed to come up short.
Comparison often breeds unrealistic standards that leave us feeling stuck. But here’s the flip side: comparison doesn’t have to be purely negative. As the saying goes, “No mud, no lotus.” 🪷 The mud isn’t pleasant, but it’s necessary for growth.
If you find yourself in the comparison “mud pit,” remember—you don’t have to stay there. Like the lotus flower rising from the muck, you can use comparison as a stepping stone.
Here are some gentle ways to shift comparison from harmful to helpful:
Notice when you’re comparing. Awareness is 80% of the work. Simply recognizing the feelings that arise when you compare yourself is powerful.
Give yourself grace. Remind yourself:
I’m doing the best I can today.
I get to be perfectly imperfect.
Trying doesn’t always mean getting it right.
I am unique, with my own gifts.
Someone acting superior doesn’t make them so.
Feeling either superior or inferior blocks my best self.
Comparison can even elevate us if we treat it as inspiration rather than a verdict. Gratitude is key here.
Think of a child learning to read. If they grow frustrated at not being where their friends are, we help them see how far they’ve come. A year ago, they were reading far less. Gratitude transforms comparison from a source of pain into a tool for growth.
So the next time you feel comparison creeping in, pause. Notice. Breathe. Remind yourself of your own progress. With practice, comparison can become less a thief of joy and more a guidepost for gratitude and growth.
Want a full classroom lesson?
Give it a try—and let me know how it goes!
The Gathering Tree will offer a monthly journal based on research, designed to help us better understand our emotions and provide practical, real-world tools for ourselves and those we care about. Respond to the journal, share your insights, and absorb the nourishing support of others.
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